(Good) Grief

Grief - it is a feeling we will all experience in life. There’s no escaping this intense crushing of our senses. Grief can eat you alive. Grief can and does kill. I have seen it repeatedly happen many times in my ministry. A husband dies, and the wife grieves herself to death in less than a year. A child dies and both parents either get sick or one or the other grieves themselves to death. Grief is a monster to which no one is immune. No one. Not even Jesus. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. We’ll get to that in a few minutes. 

In 1 Samuel 21:10-15, David wants/needs to escape the heavy hand of Abimelech, the king of Gath. How does he do it? Ingeniously, David fakes being mad/crazy by appearing to have lost his mind. Abimelch, wanting to have nothing to do with his craziness (and who could blame him), dismissed David from his presence. Instead of punishing David, he simply releases him. Psalm 34:18 tells the story of his worship to God on his release with a song sung in praise to God. He sings, “Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good; Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!” Then, in verse 18, he concludes, “The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”

2 Samuel 11 tells the story of David and Bathsheba. David, upon seeing Bathsheba bathing, begins to burn in lust for her. However, Bathsheba is already married to Uriah. Nonetheless, as king, he calls for her. As a servant, she gives herself to him. She becomes pregnant. Though the details are sketchy, we know enough to know God is not pleased. Furthermore, when David finds out (later) that Bathsheba is pregnant, he creates a plan.  This plan to is to place Uriah in the heat of battle, then retreat, allowing Uriah to be killed. Rightly so, David is overcome with guilt after the plan is “successful.” When confronted with his sin by God’s prophet Nathan, David is stricken with the weight of his sin. The following chapter (2 Samuel 12 and following) are ones of confession of sin and punishment. In 2 Samuel 12:15-23, David’s punishment is made known - the child, conceived in sin, will die. Heavy stuff. 

In both circumstances, God is with David - in the first, though not condoning his false pretenses, God allows him to escape. In the second passage, there is no escape. He’s as guilty as the sin he’s in! Two different types of grief are witnessed here. One sinful and the other celebrated. Therefore, grief is not always an indication of sin and a lack of grief is not always a sign of no sin. What gives? Let’s now turn to Jesus! 

Jesus states in Matthew 5:1-3, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” This does not mean poor/rich financially, but spiritually. In other words, “Blessed are those that think less of themselves, because this proves they are of the kingdom of God” (Jeff’s paraphrase). He continues on in Matthew 11:28-30, stating again, “For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” If you think Jesus is stating, “Been there, done that,” you are exactly right. Isaiah 53:4-6, foretells Jesus as One who “identifies” with our pain and sufferings.

I don’t have all the answer to those who suffer from grief. But, I do know this - grief does not have to be a death sentence. When Jesus’ friend Lazarus lay dead, Jesus was overcome with grief. Jesus, being 100% human, as well as 100% God, “wept.” At first glance, it may seem as if Jesus “wept” because He loved Lazarus and knew He would never see Him again this side of Heaven. But upon closer examination we see Jesus’ real source of His grief. His grief came not fully from his friend’s Lazarus’ death, but from his family’s, friends’, and disciples’ lack of faith. Jesus knew what He was about to do - to raise Lazarus from the dead - and therefore would not be weeping as a result of His death. Jesus was weeping because after years of ministry, the people still did not believe and trust in Him. This lack of faith caused Jesus to break down and weep. 

So, take heart my friends. We must believe (and sometimes it takes great faith to do so) that God has a plan. Those who are experiencing grief of any kind must know Jesus has experienced it too. As our sinless God, He pressed forward and overcame it. Through Christ’s power you can too!